When online facials go terribly wrong.

I was patrolling the internet two nights ago with the sole purpose of finding a great 'at home' facial mask recipe. I found quite a few websites related to the subject with dozens of interesting recipes to help stop the disagreeable act that is ageing, to help bring down a fever, to dry up those blasted acne spots and other such things. As I do tend to have spots and such things I decided it would be beneficial for me to try one that swears to bring down swelling and shrink those pustules. So I began my search thinking if I just pick one I would not be too disappointed as it is "at home" and there should not be too much that could go wrong. Right, famous last words.
  I came upon a recipe on some no name, no credential, website, I really should have researched more into it as if I was to search for it again I am sure it would have packed up shop for the sake of dodging lawsuits. I scrolled through the pages reading fab reviews from what I now know to be fictitious reviewers, until I found the "Baking Soda Rejuvenating Acne Mask". Well, these fake reviews had promoted it so much I felt that if I did not try it I would be letting the whole wide world of imaginary home beauty reviewers everywhere.
  As I am staying with my boyfriends parents at the moment, (he is here too) I inquired into the whereabouts of the "Baking Soda" and if I could have any. His Mother, although confused, said " yes, are you making a cake? " I replied " No I seem to need it to kill zits", grabbed it off the shelf bombed it into the bowl added some water and got to stirring. Right away I knew something was really not right, the baking soda was foaming and rising then turning into solids and repeating the process. Shrugging my shoulders I just trudged my way upstairs to the bathroom smeared that mess on. It had started to foam and rise on my face causing me to become a bit alarmed, so I added more water.

What m face looked like after my mishap with baking soda

  Right away I felt a stinging, burning sensation, I felt like I was on a thrush commercial. I was sitting down, fidgeting, walking around, standing in front of the fan where the cool air was rushing in, I was in pain. The only thing I was not doing was taking the crap off!! I was determined to keep this mask on for the full twenty minutes. Can you believe that my crazy self wanted to stand around with my face melting off for twenty mins?
After about five minutes I washed my broken face, with its poor splotchy, swollen, red bits floating down the drain. Of course this is an exaggeration but I was actually red in the face! Well if the recipe was made to suck out any form of moisture and dry up the face so much it cracked when I talked, then mission accomplished.
  Moral of the story? Do not ever decide that baking soda would make a fun and interesting paste to smear all over your face, it just burns. What I did  the very next day was get my tush down to *Lush Cosmetics to squeeze the sympathy factor into giving me samples of their face masks for free. So now my face is back to normal and smells of blueberries. For now on, I am gonna leave my face in the capable hands of the  professionals.

Lush's Catastopie Cosmetic, its best for every skin type and heals most problem skin, annnd it smells like blueberries.